Sonoma Loses Two Bright Lights And A Glimpse Of The Future

My friend Dick Arrowood called me several days ago with the sort of news that every parent fears the worst. He had just finished burying his daughter, Holly Lynne.

But he hadn’t called me because of his loss, but out of concern for two of his good friends — Sonoma Wine Auction co-chairs Don and Margo Van Staaveren — whose son Jacob (“Cody”) had just been killed in an accident in San Luis Obispo.

Words failed me. They still do. I’ve waited days, trying to decide whether I could find the correct words. I’ve failed at that, so I’ve used the ones below. Inadequate, but the best I could find.

Love in every way plants a burden of fear in our hearts: the fear of loss.

Nowhere is that deeper than the lifelong fear parents have for their children. No matter their age, they are always our babies.

They are of us. They are from us. They are awesome visions of what can be.

And when they die before us, a glimpse of the future vanishes.

So I gave my daughter more hugs than usual and I called my son  — a classmate of Cody’s and his sister at Justin-Siena — and now in college in Santa Barbara.

And I cherished her hugs and the sound of his voice like they were the last I would ever feel or hear.