Why these 37 wine tasting terms offer no solid meaning, and little help for consumers

Words!
Words! Words! I’m so sick of words!
I get words all day through;
First from him, now from you! Is that all you blighters can do?
Don’t talk of stars Burning above; If you’re in love,
Show me! Tell me no dreams
Filled with desire. If you’re on fire,
Show me!

—  “My Fair Lady” – Show Me lyrics

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This recent article:
35 wine tasting terms and what they actually mean, offers hints to the uninitiated, but are basically meaningless as far as their usefulness to people looking to decide whether a given wine will be to their own taste. (Actually, there are 37 terms in that articles … a possible numeracy issue).

That is because people experience wine differently because of profound genetic differences as well as variations in education, vocabulary, cultural background and life experience.

See New Research Shows Why Wine Descriptions Don’t Help Consumers Select Wine for more on those issues.

While wine experts may be able to somewhat calibrate among themselves the meanings of those 37 words from the article (listed below), the average consumer, lacking the same degree of calibration and expertise, frequently fails to make a satisfying purchase decision based on those words (or other descriptions).

Average consumers looking for a bottle they will like find far too much friction in a decision process that requires them to study the meaning of words and work diligently to calibrate their preferences with a given critic.

This is especially acute when a consumer finds — as is often the case — that they agree with a given critic on one varietal but not another.

Finally, a lot of the terms below have psychologically loaded connotations that will predispose some people for or against them: flabby, slutty, velvety, tight, etc.

As hard as writers try to be accurate, words are relatively crude symbolic representations of personal sensory experiences that can only be approximated. As such, their value is limited in a purchase decision — even if guided by an experienced expert.

Words, Words Words

To see just how “off” people can be with one another, play a word association game with the words. First, select a word and write down the first word or phrase you think of. Then ask a friend to do the same. Then compare.

1. Acidic
2. Angular
3. Barnyard
4. Body
5. Brett(y)
6. Chewy
7. Corked
8. Cut
9. Dry
10. Earthy
11. Fat
12. Finish
13. Flabby
14. Fresh
15. Fruit-forward
16. Fur tongue
17. Grainy
18. Hyena
19. Hot
20. Jammy
21. Jet fuel
22. Juicy
23. Laser-like
24. Lively
25. Meaty
26. Mineral
27. One-note
28. Reductive
29. Rainwater
30. Slutty
31. Smooth
32. Spicy
33. Tannins
34. Tight
35. Volatile Acidity (VA)
36. Velvety (also: lush, smooth, silky)
37. Wooly